well it seems to me that you obviously miss him and/or the feeling you got once with him. you are single yes? so there is an absense from where he stood in your life. i know you are focusing on career goals but try and find someone. it doesnt have to be anything serious, but it is something to fill in that void. you have to try and trust people. i know it is hard, but you cant expect things to get better if you try and hide or shy away from it
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